Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I am always amused...

I'm always amused by the world, and people in general...

One of my faves is the unemployed who still manage to buy the newest and best of don't get me wrong, I'm all about buying shit when you have the dough, but don't complain about your lack of employment after posting your new iPhone.

Speaking of cell phones, another funny one is the rabid loyalty people have to their phone/cell service/whatever of choice. I mean, it's a phone. Does it serve its function? Then who cares what you have, right? I always laugh when I mention what carrier I'm on, and someone inevitably state "aw I hate those guys, they suck, nothing but bad service!" when in the 10+ years I've used them, not a lick of trouble, but, there again, that is my experience.

I guess the common thread is human nature. Personally, I think people have a need to feel needed. Which is OK, but I think it manifests itself, at times, in the ways mentioned above. Specifically, the way people seems to always need to give their opinion on everything, usually unsolicited.

But it's all good, right? It's not intended as anything but friendly advice.

it juts always amuses me. :)

Friday, June 18, 2010

Shifting Paradigms

So, I have been out of work for almost 18 months. It sucks balls. And it's not for lack of trying. I have sent out multiple resumes every week since about late March last year; then, as time progressed, multiple resumes daily. Not one interview. I have even updated my resume. Still no luck. I think the one thing working against me is that there is no way to follow up. Companies seem to have lost interest in the human aspect of human resources. I mean, the last job I had, it took a long time to hear back, even for just the initial phone interview. I think it was about a month before I received an offer...weird. And now, I keep sending resumes out and have no way of checking to see if they've been received, let alone considered for interview. I don't like it.

You know what else I don't like? The way people have taken to thinking everything is too unsafe for children. It seems that today's parent has become overly protective. They don't seem to allow their children to do anything without adult supervision. My parents would send me to the store for things, by myself. I used to ride the bus or my bike to school. Or walk. I was allowed to stay home by myself during the summer months and able to go to my friends' home whenever, just to go hang out. I think it's sad that you don't see kids out running around as much as we did when we were does this lady - Lenore Skenazy, you should check out her blog.

Paradigms shift, sometime to the detriment of the world at large. More later


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A day of joy, a day of sorrow....

Today I celebrated the 16 anniversary of the birth of my daughter, Nora Scout.

She is the most precious being in my life. She has been my pride, and my joy, and my love. I thank the good Lord above for having blessed me with such a wonderful human being as a sweet, so smart, so beautiful. Truly, she is a wonder that has kept me sane and happy.

Sadly, today I also mourn the loss of a dear friend...Frieda was kind, feisty, generous, and funny, always good for a laugh, always ready to help in whatever way she could. I am deeply saddened by her passing. All I can say is may God rest you, dear friend, and keep you in his arms...

Monday, June 14, 2010

A brief post about what goes on in my head...


OK, so since I did a bit about personal history yesterday, I decided I would expound on my personal beliefs.

Let's start with how I view my fellow people. I consider myself a misanthropic humanist. Basically, I love humanity, but hate people. How do I reconcile this, you ask? Simple. I think humanity, as a whole, is pretty grand. Diverse, miraculous, entertaining. But, with the exceptions of family and close friends, I think people are just absolute shit heels. No compassion, completely egocentric, without moral or a sense of accountability. Now, I am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I do, however, try to keep on the right path. I look around and people sadden me. But I am no recluse and surround myself with people of a kindred spirit.

I consider myself Roman Catholic. I haven't been to mass, though, in many years. I hold my faith in my heart. Sometime after high school, I found myself in a quandary about the Church itself, and about belonging to a parish. Again, because of how I view people, in general, it was hard for me to reconcile sharing worship with people who didn't live by the Word. So, I believe in the Trinity and the adoration of Mary and the Saints. I try to live as much as I can by Jesus' teachings, which, contrary to popular belief, is actually very simple - Treat people with equity and justice, and be nice. Simple enough, right?

Politically, I'm a registered democrat, though my beliefs tend to lean toward the socialist end of the spectrum, at least economically. Socially, I guess I'm more moderate, but still have a really liberal streak.

I love meat. And vegetables.

I have an extremely low tolerance for bigotry, of any kind. I know, it should be no tolerance, but I know the difference between the odd off color joke and blatant ignorance or hate.

My tendency is to view life optimistically, though I am kind of a cynic. I realized very early on that there is little or no sense in letting outrageous fortune beat you down. Might as well keep in an up mood and endeavor to persevere. My mantra is a quote from Julian of Norwich - "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." It has really proven helpful.

So, that's what goes on in my head, in the proverbial nutshell.

Any questions?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Just having a coffee.

So, I didn't post yesterday. Fortunately, I've amended my front page to say semi daily! HA!

Anyway, so I thought I would kind of give an a little intro to myself. Only because I can't think of anything else to talk about. :)

So, I was born in 1968, September 26, around 3 pm, I think, I couldn't tell time yet. My father said it happened in Pomona, but it was actually on Pomona in Bellevedere, California. As it turns out, Bellevedere is one of those weird little towns you find in southern Cali like Midway's there, but hardly anyone knows about it...except maybe people who live in the towns surrounding it, or who travel the 710 with alarming frequency.

I am the 4th of 5. My 3 older sibs, a sister and 2 brothers, were born in Guatemala. My youngest brother was born in Arcadia. I'm the first U.S. citizen in my entire family, on both sides. The majority of the family is Roman Catholic, with a few EV Christians and agnostics peppered in their for flavor. I am fluent in Spanish and English, because we were only allowed to speak Spanish at home since we were being educated in English.

I tried the sports thing up until freshman year of high school. I realized I just wasn't a jock...which is okay, since my Dad was a pro Futbol(soccer) player in Guatemala, and my two older brothers had letters in multiple sports.

In 2nd grade it was determined that I was 'gifted,' so I was put into the Idea program in the Fullerton school district, were we had moved when I was 4. We learned over the years that smart doesn't necessarily equal disciplined. My grades were woefully average, and sometimes barely that. But I was always reading something, and watching a lot of PBS. I worked at Fullerton Public Library for about 2 & a 1/2 years, from junior year to the middle of the summer of '86.

After high school I spent time as a waiter and college student. And getting into trouble. Not the getting arrested kind, but the hazy memories of good times with great friends kind.

I did a little time in college. Mostly studying theater. I learned how to be a tech which was handy. I worked for Knott's Berry Farm as a stage tech for 4 years. Good times.

My daughter, Nora Scout, was born in 1994. She became the most precious person in my life, among the embarrassment of riches that is my family and friends.

I wandered through many jobs, in many fields for the last 16 years...with moderate success, but little lasting reward.

Currently, I am funemployed, have been for about a year and a half, and it sucks giant donkeys pizzles. I fight the good fight sending out resumes and hoping for the best.

I play a little guitar, bass, mandolin, and violin. Some drum too, but a very specific, under-used (at least in contemporary terms) type called a field drum, learned when I started doing renaissance faire about 18 years ago. I also sing and write songs. I like to play coffee houses. I have been in two bands....well one band and one duo.

Oh yeah, I'm a historical re-enactor. I do ren faire. I spend my weekends a couple months out of the year dressing up as an English peasant from the 1500's. Part of the 18 years at faire was spent doing English country dance and Morris dance, both traditional English forms of folk dance. Ten years of that were spent as a stage manager. I just went back to acting there.

I'm also a gamer, playing D&D, along with a myriad of other role playing games.

I love reading, including comic books. I also like science fiction and some fantasy; though my primary literary preference is regular non-genre fiction.

I love movies. All kinds. Serious.

Music is a big deal in my life. I'm a fan of most types. Whenever I need a respite from the world at large, I lose myself in music.

I'm not as pretentious as that last comment sounded.

I like TV, and generally have a set of stories I follow. Heh. I loves mah stories.

I like going to coffee and sitting around shooting the shit.

During my time at KBF, I was tempted to run away with the circus.

I've worked for some big corporations, though generally in the capacity of low level peon. I've worked for both big amusement parks here in the OC; and two major book chains.

I haven't traveled a lot, but have been to some cool places.

That's all for now. I'll probably be dedicating some blog space to my various hobbies and loves....I like writing about the stuff I love, basically because I love said stuff.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

So Tired.

So I've been helping Peej get the apartment in order. Foo! He has a lot of stuff! But I knew that, so not really shocked that it's taking a bit of time to get it all sorted out. The place is looking good, and we should be pretty much done by tomorrow.

So, that's why I'm tired. Yup.

Achy too. Moving boxes around makes you achy.

And age. Age makes you tired and achy. Indeed. I'm not the burly, strapping young man I was, when I could stay up late, get up early, tote and bale for 10 or 12 hours, run a marathon, wrestle alligators, crochet, go out carousing with friends until the wee hours, roll bums for change, and get up and do it all again.

Nope. Now I get tired and achy.

Screw you natural progression of time! What the hell did I ever do to you?

On the up side, it's been a solid 2 or 3 days of workout. And I am looking ripped! Well, I feel ripped. OK, I feel like I ripped a muscle somewhere I wasn't aware I had muscle to rip....

It doesn't matter though, it's worth helping the kid brother get his place in order.

Anyhoo, I think I'ma go rest these weary old bones.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Lonely is an eyesore...

I get lonely. I assume everyone does. What is it about the human condition that causes this loneliness? I don't really know.

I mean, honestly, I am not the best at relationships. But I think it's because of my firm adherence to The Great Cosmic Joke© that makes me this way, despite the fact that relationships are, overall, pretty cool.

The Great Cosmic Joke© is a personal philosophy I developed over the years in response to both my personal experience in relationships and observations made watching other people in them.

Basically, The Great Cosmic Joke© can be defined by the following statement: All Women are crazy, and All Men are stupid. Yes, dear reader, it is an alarmingly sweeping generalization. I admit it. But, I can honestly say that it bears out under scrutiny.

Women are crazy because there seems to be no discernible logic in how they go about handling their relationships. Many women I know, all of whom are worthy of respect, show this time and again. Whether staying in relationships that are abusive, or hopping from one to another without giving themselves some alone time, or being so persnickety that only in their fondest dreams does Mr. Right exist, all can be indication of a questionable mental state. I have also noticed a penchant for the dramatic or for lapses in reason, though, arguably, these traits is also found among men. There is also the ability to read into what men say, that is rarely on point, creating the "does this make me look fat?" dilemma.

Men are stupid. Plain and simple. We simply do not think. Our libido seems to govern our choices. Machismo, which is not solely a Hispanic sensibility, clearly teaches us that we are allowed to live as we will, enjoying every opportunity to put our member into any welcoming orifice we encounter. We also seriously under-appreciate anytime we do have a loving partner, and stubbornly adhere to the whole grass is greener mentality. We have no sense of guile and no sense of our partner's needs or desires. And we're kind of selfish. We look to our own needs and tend to not take our partner's into account.

In my observations, even the most seemingly perfect relationships are flawed in some way, generally, only mildly. But they do contain flaws, ones which both partners have to contend with.

But despite my own cynicism, I understand the desire. And not just for sex, but for companionship. Having someone 'there' is always a wonderful thing. Furthermore, I am kind of a romantic, in a deeply cynical way, but I do hold out hope for people to find the person that makes them happy. I always cheer my friends and family on in their romantic relationships and am saddened when they fall. I'm kind of dichotomous that way.

I think the secret to the whole relationship deal, again gleaned from my observations, is to strike the balance, to find the person who is just the right amount of either crazy or stupid to allow for not just a functional, but a healthy and enriching relationship. I've seen it. It actually works.

Which is why, despite my better judgment, I, too, want to be in a relationship. I see that there is the possibility of there being someone out there. Heck, I think there have been, in my life, several someones. Missed opportunities. Ones that got away. But they're another blog....

So all this comes back around to my original statement; I'm lonely. Problem is, I think I did this to myself. See, I'm in kind of an awkward, maybe even a bad place in my life. I've been without work for some time and am actually homeless, technically. (I say technically because my brother, Peej, has been kind enough to allow me to stay with him until I get back on my feet.)

This all kind of puts a crimp in the whole dating thing. I mean, I can't really take someone out on a date, and even if I did, and things go, well, you know, well, where would we be able to have the special hug? On top of this, my self-esteem, while generally pretty healthy, is kind of shaky. I mean, I know that I am a good guy, funny, smart, etc., but I don't feel good about myself. It's OK, though, everyone has those times in their lives, right? So what if mine seems to have been going on for about four years now....(insert sad trombone here.)

Despite this, I wonder why I don't try to date. A friend said to me that even in my present state, there really is no reason not to. If someone is interested, they would be able to look beyond the material shortcomings to the personal merits. But I still kind of want to have my proverbial shit together when I do date, if only for my own sanity and sense of dignity. Which I think is fair. In a metaphorical sense, I'd like to be whole before I make any offers. :D

In the end, while I am lonely, I think I can hold out. I have to focus and get my life together then move forward to the fun stuff.

And that's totally OK.

Post for yesterday....

So I missed a post for yesterday. Which is funny that I mention that since the last time I posed before Monday night was last summer!

So project:Pete's Place is moving along.

Had a bit of a row in the early part of the day, but it turned out ok...Peej listened to what had apparently been building up for some time...I was able to express my frustration at and humiliation due to my current life situation. I think it gave him some insight and me some catharsis....always a good thing.

we've almost got the living room done, and will be getting the girls' room ready.

More a little later...

Monday, June 7, 2010

Stuff I hate....

...though I don't like to hate, as it is such a strong word.

Ok, how about, things I find annoying and bug the living crap out of me? Better?

I get really annoyed when people criticize the things you like, for no other reason than just to do it.

A friend recently posted on the FB "If you watch Glee, I don't respect you." Kind of harsh, no? I mean, what is it about the show that makes you disrespect anyone who watches it? How is it relevant to your life what other people watch or don't watch?

Another example was just last night....I was wearing my "Joss Whedon is my master now" shirt, as I do, because, well all my tee shirts say something...and a friend states unequivocally that it's not right that Joss Whedon's name be put in Star Wars' font. So I ask, why, is Star Wars so sacrosanct that the shirt is somehow defiling the nature of Lucas' opus? And, being the douchey film student he is, launched into a detailed explanation of how Whedon doesn't hold a candle to the sheer artistry that is is Lucas' franchise...blah, blah, blah...after a little bit, when he finally clammed up, I simply stated that I liked the shirt and I like Whedon's work, and that I also like the Star Wars franchise, and that I didn't understand why this was all relevant...

What I don't get is how people can feel so superior. It is actually kind of difficult to fathom how I was like this in my youth. Serious. But I got over it really fast, when I realized that I was tired of justifying what I enjoyed to others. Or maybe I just discovered the futility in that sort of thing. No sense in arguing taste at all.

And yet, I seem to be surrounded by people who make it a habit of doing just that. Always telling each other they're wrong for what they like. Oh sure, I do my fair share of ribbing my friends for their favored authors, music, etc., but at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter to me, because they're my friends.

Just sayin'.